Guilt

My stomach is sour... not sick, just turning. Maybe its not my stomach but my heart? My gut. I'm hearing good news from everyone around me. Stories of young love, business successes, family news, etc., and I'm jealous. Feeling guilty, becuase I want those stories to be my own.... but I don't know if they ever will be.

Days continue to pass, I grow older, I work, I read.... I pass time. I feel no more progression. No challenge. When I do find something to excite me it is juvenile and the one person I want to turn to looks down on me for it, yet is doing the same as I... but with less passion. I'm a passionate person, no matter what I do (if it excites me) I jump head first, not looking at how shallow the water is.

Is this just another lull that will pass, or will this be the last.

No matter what I do, I no longer feel content. Hearing the successes and romantic notions, push me into thoughts that cause me pain.... why?

Heat

Have you ever climbed into a car in the middle of summer and its so hot that the edges of your lips burn and you think that your eyelashes are melting?

Weather man said a high of 92... weatherchannel.com says its currently 99.

I walk outside and find myself grasping for air... The humidity is squelching, making me feel like I'm breathing in fire.

All I can think about is a cold cold shower and a tall Arnold Palmer!

I pray for the people who cannot escape to the air conditioning.